Would you Rather Milk the Cow
Or Practice the Piano?
By Sylvia Sevey Bielefeldt
The twenty-seven years I’ve taught piano have been filled with many frustrating but also incredibly rewarding teaching experiences as I’ve had the opportunity to work with probably at least 250 different students. In the first year of my teaching one of the mothers, who had been raised on a farm and believed in good hard work for children, said to her children “would you rather milk the cow or practice the piano?” Then she proceeded to require her children to practice diligently every day as they had no cows.
Over the years I have discovered two truths: there is no deadline for developing ability; and regular practice is more important than length of practice.
The purpose of this blog is to bring laughter and encouragement and maybe a few helpful tips and possibly put piano practice into a non- traditional perspective.
The stories I share are not stories of amazing concert artists; they are stories of amazing little people who learn how to meet the challenges in life by taking piano lessons. They can also learn the same lessons by milking cows. I have milked a cow. You have to be sure the cow is ready and you are still and ready before you milk. Then there is a technique that must be used for success. If that technique is correct, the milker can squirt milk from the cow’s udder in any desired direction and quickly fill a bucket. If technique is poor, then the milker is lucky to squeeze a few drops of milk from the puzzled cow into a bucket that remains mostly empty. I have never been able to do more than squeeze a few drops into a bucket even though I had the expertise of my Papa for a teacher. My teacher was patient; I was excited and thought it would be so easy. Like many piano students as they struggle to develop ability, I became discouraged with milking and gave up when I discovered I just couldn’t get it right after a couple of times. I had no confidence and lost interest right away.
Many years ago I taught a seven year old girl who, in the beginning, sat with head ducked and timidly attempted to play a few notes on the piano. This little girl soon lifted her head, began to smile, and as her ability developed, her love for the music she could create magnified until she eventually excelled. Within a year she was playing with musical tone. I taught her until she was 15 years old when she decided to quit piano so she could put more effort into her studies of math and the sciences. She could play anything with great musicality and beautiful technique – Bach, Beethoven, Chopin. She memorized long Sonatas and Nocturnes easily. This is not a typical experience of musical success, but it is very typical to have a child’s attitude be positive when they are “nurtured by love”.
Several years later I discovered how to help reluctant students. I discovered that a candy treat could produce immediate changes in attitude. I think the first time I tried it was with a nine year old boy. He started lessons at age four. For five years I struggled to teach this little boy as he plugged away. He had no natural ability, no assistance at home, and had a very reluctant attitude, so progress was very slow and tedious. Finally, after years I said, “If you will come to piano lessons saying I LOVE PIANO with a smile on your face, I will give you some candy.” Well, he did just that. Lessons were much more pleasant and he actually made some progress. Since that time I have used this same motivational technique 99% successfully with many other children. I feel that I have had a wonderful group of students the past several years that all have cheerful attitudes when they come to piano. I have used this with children from age 4 to age 14 with very fun and successful results. When a student is feeling happy about himself, he is greatly encouraged to keep trying. It’s incredible how cooperative a student is when promised a starburst.
At least 25 years ago I taught a five year old boy named Johnny. I think he had never had to sit still. The first lesson I have always taught students is “how to sit with hands in lap for at least the count of whatever their age is” Little Johnny couldn’t sit still for even the count of 2. Instead he had the habit of turning somersaults off the piano bench. His mother thought he was so adorable. I would attempt to teach and he actually learned how to play “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. “ He did this for a couple of months. I was so kind and patient (piano mothers have always commented about my patience) but finally after about four months of this I spoke very firmly and held him still on the bench and said “You will sit still and not ever somersault off the bench again!” He responded very well and we continued the lesson. As they left I felt so proud that I had accomplished a break-thru with this adorable child. The next morning I received a call from his mother who said, “Johnny cried all the way home because you were so mean and we will not be coming back.” Well, I breathed a sigh of relief and decided I was not offended.
A completely different experience happened with Christy, who was barely 2 years old. Her two older sisters aged six and nine
were average piano students who were enjoyable and pleasant, although the older sister was a little stubborn at times. They started lessons when Christy was a nursing baby. Well, just about the time Christy turned 2 years old she decided she wanted a piano lesson. Of course babies are so adorable as they insist on “my turn” that I placed her on the
piano bench with a footstool under her feet. She wanted to play, but I thought I would experiment and see if she could sit still. I gently (remember how famous I am for patience) placed her hands in her lap as I knelt by her and said, “Now Christy let’s see if you can sit while I count to two.” She did it the first time, and every time and at age 2 learned how to play “Twinkle Little Star” and several other little folk tunes.” That was a delightful experience, but not typical.
A third experience was with little Brandon, who also was two when he insisted on “my turn” at the piano. He was the youngest of four children. The older 2 brothers and sister would plug along inconsistently with practice, but always diligent in attending piano lessons. I thought little Brandon was contrary and demanding, but he was adorable and he loved sitting at the piano. He was very willing to sit while I counted to two and then hold his hands in “ready” to play position while I counted to two. His mother was always patient and accepted all my suggestions. He learned a couple of folk tunes, but wasn’t ready for any “real” instruction on technique until he turned four years old. Suddenly at that age he began to cooperate with absolutely every instruction.
I taught Brandon for 10 years until his parents decided he needed to follow in his two older brothers footsteps and wrestle. I had 10 years of almost total fun with teaching Brandon. He developed an incredible ability to memorize and perform with enthusiasm. He practiced consistently and learned difficult pieces way beyond his natural ability. He became a star. His attitude was always cheerful and cooperative after he turned four years old. Brandon was not typical.
But then, no child is typical.
Susie started piano lessons at age four along with her older sister who was six. Her older sister, Amy caught on immediately and has given me many years of joy as her attitude is one of great enthusiasm and cooperation at lessons. She has progressed with wonderful sight reading skills and memorizing skills, especially with Christmas music. However, little Susie has been a different story.
Susie has never failed in her cheerfulness during every lesson. I think she has excelled all others in attitude. However, her development of playing the piano has been an extremely slow and tedious process. Both sisters have been completely inconsistent in piano practice, but their parents have been totally diligent with bringing them to every lesson. They have never missed a lesson in all the years. They have both been completely cheerful. They have never been late with a payment. Both Mom and Dad have always supported me even when times use to be difficult with Susie.
When Susie began lessons at age four her mother came to every lesson for two years. Those lessons were so frustrating to all of us as Susie just couldn’t sit still. Of course she would sit while I counted to four and then her little hands just went wild with enthusiasm. I spent many lessons teaching her to get ready and wait just to play one note on the piano. Her mother sat patiently and never asked me to change my approach. For the first two years I think she was only capable of about a 5 minute lesson, which gradually increased to about 10 minutes at the most. That little girl never stopped smiling at me even when I scolded her for not sitting still. (I only scold when I am so frustrated I can’t think of any other approach. Bad teacher habit) Finally after so many struggles, Susie began to sit still and do everything I asked her to do.
She was unable to sight read with any ability at all until she turned 9 years old. She is now 12 and still sight reads with difficulty, but is finishing her 2nd volume of the Faber/Faber method books. At her last Christmas recital she played a glorious arrangement of “Carol of the Bells” and I almost cried with amazement at how far she has come with ability. I never had to bribe her with candy, but she has excelled all others with her cheery attitude. What a joy!
Listening inspires ability
Many students talk all through their lessons. These students are often very talented, but easily distracted. It is difficult for these students to memorize. Inside their minds they hear a steady stream of comments from an imaginary teacher constantly judging their ability to play. A student who talks also hears talking. It is a challenge to have these children listens just to their sound. These are students who can perfectly perform the “ready” position, such as a foot racer at the block. They can take off beautifully, but they do not stay with the music, they go instead to “I wonder if the audience likes how I’m playing”; “I wonder if they think I’m great”. Such a student begins to worry and stumble. When at the lesson, this student will make comments while they play or suddenly stop and make a comment as if they are the teacher. A non listening student can quickly become discouraged.
Many years ago I taught a little 5 year old girl named Lindsey, who was born without eyes. This child learned everything by listening and feeling. I taught her for 2 years before she moved to go to a school for the blind. When she left she had progressed from Twinkles to Minuets. She came to visit me a couple of years later and played a concerto at about age 10. She told me her current teacher took her outside to feel nature – flowers and trees.
From Lindsey I learned how to teach a child to listen.
I teach students to listen by closing their eyes to play.
One student named Sally played advanced music, but with little sense of musicality. The answer to her musicality came when she closed her eyes to play. Suddenly she changed from a noisy sound to a musical sound. The difference was so dramatic. I have used this technique with many students with wonderful results. A listening student can feel and love making different colors of music and actually become the music. A listening student learns valuable lessons of life that will create great ability in every activity they are involved in.
Technique
It is important to use fingers, hands, arms, back, head, and feet in a way that is comfortable. It is very difficult to practice when in pain physically or emotionally. The physical comfort can be insured with the use of an adjustable bench or cushions and a footstool. Parents cannot begin to imagine how important a footstool is for their little child’s comfort and cooperation at the piano. I have seen many little students who like to cross their feet while playing. This pulls the body forward and creates pressure on the back which is very harmful for a small, growing body.
Years ago I observed an amazing six year old play a very difficult Beethoven sonatina. Two years later I observed her at a piano workshop. The visiting instructor from Japan asked the mother to discontinue piano lessons for a year as the child had developed extreme stress and was in pain as she played. It is important to help a young child play without stress of physical or emotional pain so that as they grow they may gain the ability to face the challenges of life with confidence.
The emotional comfort is more difficult to achieve as there are many family comments from siblings and parents that can disrupt the creative process. I’ve had many children say “My Daddy doesn’t like me to practice or listen to my recordings when he is home.” Or, “I can’t practice when the baby is sleeping”. These children do not progress. I’ve also had many say “My Daddy likes to hear my songs.” I even have Dad’s that come to lessons and encourage their children in practice. I think my favorite Dad is Brent who served a year in Iraq. He brings his six year old son to lessons and encourages him at all times saying, “You can do that”. He also keeps us laughing saying, “Maybe you’d rather go home and clean the yard.”
Technique is best lear
ned when physical and emotional comfort is achieved. The manner in which music is played is one of the factors in achieving musicality. I have watched many students play who have tension in hands, arms, backs and faces. These students can absolutely be taught simple techniques to increase ability to play without tension. Even a simple technique as smiling can bring a more enjoyable feeling to practicing.
Performance
It’s better to perform an old song that’s perfect than show off a new, fun song. This also connects with the physical and emotional comfort of the student. It’s important to understand that a piece of music can be appreciated in a similar way that nature can be appreciated by observing all the different colors and smells and designs until a masterpiece is realized even in a simple tune.
I once heard a very gifted teacher play a simple melody with so much beauty and feeling that it seemed to be a very difficult piece.
I also heard an exceptionally gifted student play a very difficult Beethoven sonata with perfect technique and dynamics, but with very little musical emotion.
To feel music while playing can be developed by listening to artist perform, to practice small parts with closed eyes, to take a piece when perfectly memorized to a level of deep emotion. Playing with true musicality, or emotion may be a gift, but can also be a developed ability.
All arts are lacking when achieved as a sense of duty. Only when gone beyond duty can musicality be truly a thing as beautiful as a triple rainbow.
Parental Attitude and Involvement
Parental attitude is very critical in a child’s development of piano ability. I once had a parent walk into my studio during the last 5 minutes of her 7 year old son’s lesson. He suddenly became uncooperative and slumped down. It was his third lesson with me and the first time she had observed. She began to talk to me in a very loud voice giving direction on how she wanted me to teach her little boy. He began to cry. Although he had shown much capability, I knew this was not going to work. I do not recommend piano lessons or milking a cow for children who cannot handle parental involvement for whatever reason. These children should be involved in band, orchestra, choir, art or other activities where a parent’s role is to attend the concert or art show and feel proud.
I have learned that a parent attending a lesson can be an invaluable support for a student. I recently had an occasion where a teen-age student was very despondent over his inability to adequately portray his skills at lessons that he was very secure when practicing on his home piano. I turned to his mother and requested her input, which she then gave in a kind and supportive way that assured her son that he was very capable and which he then responded with head lifting and a feeling that he could make changes and not expect perfection at that moment. How her support lifted that fine student’s opinion of himself and gave him encouragement to not give up.
As a teacher, I have learned that parents have wonderful insights to their children that can help them to grow with great encouragement. We would never as parents scold a toddler when faltering as he learns to walk, but would cheer as I recently heard my daughter do telling her 15 month old son, “You can do it, just keep trying,” as he is takes a few reluctant steps.
Performance
Performance skills are the whipped cream on strawberry shortcake. Without these skills, music is ordinary, maybe kind of tasty, but can be so much more. Without performance skills, music is like going to dinner in jeans and a baseball cap or like going to church in our grubbies
Performance needs to be rehearsed, starting with how to walk to the piano, how to sit, how to prepare hands, legs, feet, posture and how to bow. Also, a student needs to dress for a performance. Shirt and tie and slacks for boys, skirts and blouses or dress for girls. When the atmosphere is set, and the piece is well rehearsed then magic happens. A student who performs with complete readiness, a piece that is well prepared then grows with great confidence.
The simplest of pieces becomes a beautiful musical performance when all is in readiness. The student then plays beyond his/her natural and usual abilities. Joshua, age 10 is such a student. He was so silly during his rehearsals, acting like a clown. He just couldn’t seem to play without mistakes, even though he knew his music well. Finally, after some scolding, he rehearsed with some capability. The evening of the recital he arrived in shirt and tie, hair neatly combed, and he performed to the best of his ability with confidence. Even though his music was not very advanced, his performance was.
For many years I wondered at why some students performed so well and some were sloppy. I worried about requiring the best dress and performance. But, the great growth of confidence I see when students are dressed and prepared the best is so worth it.
Reading Skills
I believe that one of the major misconceptions of music is that if a student learns to “play by ear” or memorize they will never learn to read. This makes as much sense as saying that a toddler who learns to talk will never learn how to read. A toddler speaks the language heard in the home and environment. A student learns to play the music heard in the home and environment. It is an absolutely false assumption that students will be handicapped with reading if they learn to play the piano by sound, by rote, by memorizing, etc. The only handicap to reading is that caused by not reading. Reading skills are developed by reading, reading, and reading!
When a student has reading assignments, the best way to develop skills is to do the assignments at home consistently. I have tried many experiments with color to help a struggling student with their reading. These experiments have not been successful. I have found that usually a student struggles when they do not practice properly. There are several techniques I love to use with reading.
My favorite technique is one that students resist in general. I love to get the metronome out and have the student practice a short, easy piece with it. I usually start at 69. The best technique is to help the eye stay focused on the music and the concentration completely on the music. The metronome accomplishes this. A student just starting to learn how to use this tool can only do one or two measures at a time, but with consistent practice they can increase their ability to several lines. I ask the student to start with one hand alone, then add two hands after one hand is easy. I call this the “add upon” method. (add a hand, add a note, add a measure, add a line.)
This is very effective at any age and any difficulty of music. One student has improved her sight reading greatly after just a couple of months of this type of practice. She has always learned her sight reading pieces quickly, but has actually learned how to truly sight read her first try with few errors.
Another tool to help sight reading is to cover the hands while a student plays so they will keep their eyes on the music. It is all about looking at the music. I have tried many other things, but these are the two most effective tools.
A very interesting improvement happens to the student who begins to sight read church hymns. Even though church hymns are difficult, a student who desires to learn them and practices regularly always begins to make major progress with sight reading skills. Tiffany, age 14, struggled to sight read even after many years of lessons. She memorized well, was very musical and performed with great skill, but just could not sight read. At age 14 she took a 2 year break from piano lessons. When she left she was trying to play hymns. When she returned to piano at age 16, something great had happened. She was able to play anything she desired. Her mother told me that for two years she only practiced hymns, nothing else.
Another student, a football star, age 18, wanted to learn to play the piano. He had never had piano of any kind. He began to learn hymns from a very special, simplified hymn book. In 6 months he learned to play hymns that had 3 basic chords in the left hand with right hand melodies all written in the key of C. He memorized in the beginning and then began to sight read and finally began to actually sight read in the regular hymn book.
My Philosopy
I believe piano lessons are a great opportunity for a child to learn the valuable lessons in life that will help them find the creativity within, that will help them in making personal judgments and in developing the abilities to stay with something when it’s difficult; to persist; to listen; to focus; to notice beauty all around; and to find joy in music. Some children make take for one year- some for several years – some for a lifetime. Most will not become concert artists. Many will develop some piano ability, but not enough to continue. Some will develop enough ability to become independent and capable of playing anything desired for enjoyment and some will develop abilities to accompany and perform. All piano students will develop abilities of listening, learning, persisting with difficult projects, finding a love of music that will enhance them throughout their entire life. Time and money spent on music lessons of any type is a great investment in your child, even if it seems a dead end. It absolutely is a thoroughfare street which will influence opportunities for the children in ways that cannot even be perceived.
I have had one of my own children in that catagory. It is very difficult for a parent when a child chooses to march to a different type of creativity than that which the parent imagined would be so wonderful. One of my children rejected all my efforts to share my love for the piano. He was willing to be in band, as a drummer, for 4 years. As he entered 8th grade he left music behind and began taking art classes. He is very talented in ceramics and photography. He hated English, but loves to write creative thoughts and stories. He hated math but is skilled in designing and building wood projects of all kinds. He marches to the beat of a different drummer – and he’s amazing!
